I’m 44

I’m 44, 
and without trying to predict with more certainty than I can have, 
I sense that I am at the middle of my life.  

The many years, 
the encounters, 
the unexpected and unwanted changes, 
the heart-stings of ignorance or of injustice, 
the seeing of my children endure pain of loss and of leaving, 
And I sense, 
with no little weight
That it is all just half-over.

But I heard someone say
If you are lucky, life is long
and that stayed with me
in part because of all the L’s
But more because it feels the opposite
of true
Billy Joel said that only the good die young
and as I get older
I wonder more if my aging means I’m not
one of the good ones.

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